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Will the judge consider our children’s wishes?

It depends. The judge must consider what the child wants if the child is “of sufficient age and capacity to reason.” Children age 14 and older are also entitled, if they desire, to express an opinion about custody issues to the court. In either case, however, the judge is not required to follow the child’s wishes.

It may be difficult to determine the child’s true wishes if one or both parents have coached the child. Most often, children don’t want to hurt either parent. Avoid trying to persuade your child to choose you over the other parent; this puts a tremendous emotional strain on the child. The court mediator or other evaluator may meet with the child to help convey the child’s real desires.